Moby's Dick

Sigurdur Hjartarson, founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum with his 154 pound whale penis.

When those standard visits to the Museum of Modern Art begin to wear on you and you long to see something manly, something truly memorable, consider a trip to Husavik, Iceland. There, you can visit the Icelandic Phallological Museum and exam penises from nearly every species of animal that lives on Iceland. The one exception is the human being, but an elderly Icelandic man who is known throughout the country as a prolific lover has vowed to donate his love muscle for posterity upon his death.

When I spoke with Sigurdur Hjartarson, the museum’s founder, I first explained to him that someone had stolen the vowel between the “H” and the “j” in his last name. He chuckled and, because in Iceland they pronounce the letter "J" like it's a "Y", he continued to call me "Yerry", which just irritated the crap out of me. Because like, "Hey, if you're going to live in this world, you better learn to speak American"; that's what I always say!

Then, I got to the point of my communication with him. I asked Sig how he came to name his establishment the Phallological Museum. He said that he considered, but then discarded, other naming options.

These others included:
The Cold Cock Collection
The Dingus Display
The Giggle Stick Gallery

The Home of Pink Floyd
The "In-In-In-Oh-God-Yes-Don’t-Stop-In-In-In" Institution
The Rumpleforeskin Repository
The Schvontz Salon

Each of these great names started as the simple seed of an idea. As they thrust deeper and deeper into Sig’s thought processes, they grew, until they finally expanded to nearly twice their normal size. The considerations became more passionate and he lost all sense of time and decency. Ultimately, the heated internal debate ended when “The Phallological Museum” exploded on to the scene and splashed across the pages on which the names were written. The museum director screamed with unbridled delight. Moments later, an exhausted, yet fulfilled, Sig slumped in his chair and had a cigarette.

Be sure to wash your hands when you leave the museum!