Monologue Writer Jerry Perisho

Stay current on the day's events and the most recent monologue jokes written by monologue writer Jerry Perisho. Click HERE to see his most current jokes.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Check out the monologue blog site

Please direct your attention to my monologue blog site:

It is with the monologue site that I have been spending most of my time. My plan is to expand that site to include much of the material you find here.

I am a monologue writer at heart and have been very successful writing good comedy based on the day's news. Check it out.

I'll see you over at

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween Horror

Not for the squeamish...
Not for the faint of heart...
But, only for those brave enough to withstand the ultimate pain!

Today's Investment Advice

With today's investment market so full of turmoil and uncertainty, here is some advice on actions you can take now that will help to secure your future...

Bank Commercial - Click here for more free videos

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

"The Wonder-ful Years"

Here, "The Wonder Years" reminds us that we have to value the things we love and tell the people we love how we feel. Get a tissue!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Feeling better when I am down

I have prostate cancer that has spread beyond my prostate gland. In the last few years, I have gotten terribly ill with experimental chemotherapy and endured 2 years of hormone therapy. This stuff can get you down. So, whenever I am feeling kind of lousy, I search out this news story and video about the autistic high school kid who had a great night on the basketball court.

I always feel better:

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The magic of chain mail

Tell your chain mailing friends that they've driven you crazy!

The biggest fraud in Congress: Barney Frank

Will somebody please tell Barney Frank to shut the hell up? The Democrats have given this phony so much power that his ignorance is really beginning to show through. At a time when the stock market is tanking, banks are being taken over by the federal regulator and businesses are going under, this giant bag of gas says, "There are a lot of very rich people whom we can tax," further destroying consumer confidence.

Please Barney, stop the yammering! You are doing a lot of harm.

The laughter of a child

The laughter of a child is a magical thing. It is like music to the ears of a parent or grandparent. When they are young, they will giggle at the slightest hint of a funny joke or action. But, as kids grow older, the challenge of providing that hilarious moment becomes greater.

I have found that if I take my grandkids for a little car ride, they will giggle and scream and have an unforgettable experience. Here is one such ride.

Monday, October 20, 2008

What is going on here?

Can winning the Men's Quadruple Sculls really be that exciting?

Friday, October 17, 2008

Examine the photo

What is this sports fan saying?

Here are a few ideas:

a. "I am sure the Zamboni will just mix it in with all the rest."

b. "Oh, look how it turns into a fine mist as it travels from the third tier down onto the people in the box seats."


d. "Just a minute officer; I’ve already got 'Giants' spelled out, but I still need to add 'suck'!"

e. "OK, one last really big push and I think I can hit home plate."

f. "Someone messed with the Braille on the door; I think it said this was the men’s room."

g. "You know, Mr. Security Guard, you have beautiful eyes!"

h. “He…could…go…all…the…way!”

i. “A bladder infection. No sir, I don’t have a bladder infection. Why do you ask?”

j. "Oh, I’m sorry. For a minute there I thought I was standing at my dorm room window."

k. "Officer, I am scared. There is a little black box where my penis is supposed to be."

l. “And, it is official, the new stadium has been christened.”

Do you have any suggestions as to what this sports fan might be saying?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Quote of the Day - The Difference

"What is the difference between a Republican and a Democrat? A Democrat blows; a Republican sucks."
----- Lewis Black

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Presidential Campaign 2008

It's over!

"Eat the foamy snow"

As long as we are posting funny videos that we've come across, here is one from Miller Lite that debunks an age-old truism:

One has to wonder what they'll do about, "Don't swim in the lumpy water."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Honey, look what just popped up!

OK, all you urology patients. Come on; you gotta just laugh!

Yippee! I'm gonna be rich!!

Hey everybody, congratulate me. I am about to become very, very rich. These are the kinds of breaks that come your way when you’ve lived a good clean life like the one I have been living.

“What has happened?” you might ask. “What is the lucky break that is going to make me wealthy?”

Well, completely out of the blue this morning, I learned that I had a long-lost relative who past away, but who left a sizeable amount in a bank account and named me the only heir.

I can’t believe it; I am living a dream. I know it is the truth because it is a Nigerian barrister named Zain Johnson who sent me the letter, and attorneys don’t lie! Mr. Johnson says I have $12.5 million coming to me as a result of the death of Mike Perisho, a relative who had a bad heart after seeing his family members die in the big tsunami of 2004. According to Zain, Mike died in early 2005.

Man, I have it made, now!! I am going to do all the things I have wanted to do, but could never afford. Like see the World's Largest Stump in Kokomo, Indiana (how big is a guy's leg to have it leave the world's largest stump?).

Maybe you have a relative who died after the big tsunami, too. Just email Zain Johnson and find out. Here is his email address:

At all looks pretty darned legitimate to me. Everybody send Zane a note and tell him to look into your family background. Let’s bury Zain in business, what do you say? He tracked me down to share the good news with me so let’s clobber the man with potential business.

But, "shhhhhh"; don't tell Zain that I suggested you contact him. He asked me to keep my good fortune quiet, so the criminal element wouldn't get involved.

Good luck! Maybe I’ll be seeing you Nigeria as we pick up our money!